This is the eleventh edition of the AMJ Counselling newsletter ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
AMJ Counselling
 

This is the eleventh edition of my newsletter. 

It feels like the time of year for a bumper, holiday special, so here it is!

I have struggled to find time recently to write this newsletter for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I have been really busy with my client work - at times bordering on too busy and getting close to the limits of what is healthy and sustainable.

Secondly, I have been using any “spare” time for writing on trying to finish my book. I have made progress on the latter, which has been rewarding, but I am still a little way from finishing.

My (emerging) book is the story of how I pushed myself over the edge and the opportunities I missed to have avoided the fall off the cliff edge of my breakdown. It is also a story of how others could learn from my experience and apply the five principles to work-life balance I have developed over the last few years. This includes the tools, techniques and hints and tips I have collected by reflecting on my experience, and that of many others, I know have been down a similar path.

It is part-memoir, part-self-help, part common sense, part therapy. Writing it has helped me. I hope reading it can help others.

I know there are loads of newsletters, bulletins and other great resources available on mental health, so I am really grateful to you for taking the time to read this one. I hope you find it interesting and helpful. I hope it provokes some reflection and offers food for thought. 

If you would like to find out more about me and my work, you can read some of my background, hear about my practice, and watch videos and listen to podcasts on my website by clicking on amjcounselling.com

Thanks again for taking the time to read this edition, for subscribing, and for sharing this newsletter with others. If you have a friend or colleague you think would enjoy reading this newsletter, please pass it on. I would also welcome any feedback on the newsletter so I can improve it. Thanks a million.

Take care,
Ben 

 

I have included two photos in this edition.

They represent two piece of care - one self-care and one is the care and support of others.

The first photo is of a cactus plant which I was given recently by a colleague in one of the schools I work. It was an unprompted and kind gesture of support and thanks from a colleague who themselves is deserving of support and thanks, balancing as they do the extraordinary demands of being a teacher - and a GCSE teacher at that - and a head of year role. Their kind gesture meant a lot to me. I felt seen, which is always a really good feeling.  

The second photo reflects one of the many things I try to do every day to offer myself some self-care. Fresh air - ideally through a walk or a run - is an important part of my daily routine. This is tougher to do with winter weather and winter daylight hours, but I work hard to build it into every day. 

This photo was taken on a recent trip to London, when I did run every day along the river, past old haunts and favourite places, including the stunning Hammersmith Bridge (pictured). 

 

Recent reflections

The “over-diagnosis” debate

As I mentioned in the introduction, this edition of the newsletter focuses on the big theme of diagnosis or “over-diagnosis” of things like ADHD and autism.

It comes just a few days after the UK government announced a review into mental health diagnosis and pressures on NHS mental health teams and services.

I have no problem with the government wanting to understand what’s going on with mental health in the UK - I (and most therapists) can easily help them identify the key factors at play: 

  • the change in diagnosis criteria for autism (dropping “Aspergers);

  • greater awareness/understanding of neurodivergence (especially ADHD);

  • reduction in stigma on being open about our mental health; 

  • the negative impact of COVID (especially lockdowns and especially on young people); 

  • toxic social media platforms pushing damaging content and comparisons (especially for young people); 

  • the pressures of modern life (including financial strains, housing shortages and job insecurity which have been so much harder since the 2008 financial crisis); 

  • the cost of austerity on public services (including in schools and local authorities) and its knock-on effects; 

  • huge waiting lists to access NHS services of all kinds, including CAMHs; and much more besides. 

These issues are being seen all over the world (to varying degrees). We should stop this talk about “over-diagnosis” and focus more seeing and hearing people.

My clients are not over-diagnosed: they just want to understand what is going on in their lives and to improve their lives. We know all this. Those of use who work in mental health see it ever day.

There is no need for an inquiry/review in my view. There is a need for more honesty about the issues we face and a need for more money and more qualified professionals working to help people when they need it.

There are, of course, always a small number of people who “game” any system - but that is the costs of a free, open and tolerate society.

Let’s focus on the key issues - not on this tiny minority - and properly fund mental health services to save and improve lives. We know all this already - we should be working to fix it and stop demonising people who just need our compassion and help.  

Advance Australia Fair

I am writing these reflections just hours after Australia enacted their social media ban for under 16s. I could not welcome this more.

Well done to Australia for taking this bold step and prioritising the mental health and wellbeing of young people. 

There are few things in relation to mental health that I feel more strongly about than this: the benefits of social media for children are massively outweighed by their damage. Social media is poisoning young people in so many ways, including feeding them a constant stream of harmful content and pushing an unhealthy focus on comparisons, fuelling feelings of “I’m not good enough”. Lives are being damaged and lost every day as a result.

A social media ban for under 16s is essential and I applaud - vigorously - the lead the Australian government is taking.

 

Articles and other resources

If you follow me on social media (links below), you will see that I often share articles from the media that resonate with me and hopefully provide an opportunity for insights and reflection. 

If you would like to follow me on any of these platforms you will see my posts and the material I share.

www.linkedin.com/in/benjaminjohnjones

https://www.instagram.com/benjaminjohnjones

https://bsky.app/profile/benjaminjohnjones.bsky.social

https://www.threads.net/@benjaminjohnjones

As the debate about autism, ADHD and other mental health topics becomes more polarised - and often ill-informed, at times deliberately so to further a political (or “anti-woke”) agenda - there is a need for evidenced-based thoughtful and insightful contributions to public discourse.

The following articles and other resources are all positive and responsible, helping to shift the debate back to facts, evidence and common sense. I recommend them highly. 

Poetry recommendation

As part of my mental health jam jar, I try every day (not always successfully) to read or listen to one piece of poetry. 

For me, poetry represents the most beautiful use of language and language is my favourite form of art. My favourite poet is the great Seamus Heaney (sorry, Robert Frost and W H Auden, who come in a close second and third respectively).

I was thrilled to see the recent publication of the complete works of Seamus Heaney and very quickly bought myself a copy. It is a weighty tome (naturally) but a wonderful collection of poems and commentary on each. I have found new poems I didn’t know, and returned to old favourites, including ‘Mid-Term Break’, included below in full, which contains one of the most moving lines in the history of the written word. It is the last line, in case you were wondering.

Mid-Term Break - by Seamus Heaney

I sat all morning in the college sick bay

Counting bells knelling classes to a close.

At two o'clock our neighbours drove me home.

In the porch I met my father crying—

He had always taken funerals in his stride—

And Big Jim Evans saying it was a hard blow.

The baby cooed and laughed and rocked the pram

When I came in, and I was embarrassed

By old men standing up to shake my hand

And tell me they were 'sorry for my trouble'.

Whispers informed strangers I was the eldest,

Away at school, as my mother held my hand

In hers and coughed out angry tearless sighs.

At ten o'clock the ambulance arrived

With the corpse, stanched and bandaged by the nurses.

Next morning I went up into the room. Snowdrops

And candles soothed the bedside; I saw him

For the first time in six weeks. Paler now,

Wearing a poppy bruise on his left temple,

He lay in the four-foot box as in his cot.

No gaudy scars, the bumper knocked him clear.

A four-foot box, a foot for every year.

Podcast recommendation 

‘An overwhelming demand for ADHD diagnoses has left the NHS struggling to keep up. What’s behind the rise?’

This podcast from The Times, hosted by Darryl Morris, and including excellent insights from Dr Ulrich Müller-Sedgwick, consultant psychiatrist, is a clear and measured review of the position in relation to ADHD. It is nearly two years old but feels as relevant today as then.  

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1yeij8r2610rYJHrsmWfoE?si=2kf0LVkrTXKEj5cPxpH4bA

Book recommendations 

‘Exhausted: An A–Z for the Weary by Anna Katharina Schaffner’

I recently read ‘Exhausted’ having spotted it as I browsed a London book store and at the same time as trying to make progress with my own burnout memoir. 

Anna Katharina Schaffner, who describes herself as a cultural historian and burnout coach contends that ‘burnout is said to be the defining feeling of the post-pandemic world - but why are we all so exhausted? Some of us struggle with perfectionism, while others are simply overwhelmed by the demands of modern life.’

Her book offers analysis, helpful examples and stories, and practical advice and help. 

https://shorturl.at/t7wUn

 

Nobody's Girl by Virginia Roberts Giuffre 

This is the extraordinarily powerful memoir by the late Virginia Roberts Giuffre, the inspirational woman who stood up and spoke out about serial abusers Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, and how they trafficked her, and others, to some of the world’s richest, most powerful men.

It is a tough read, but that is nothing compared to the horrific experiences Virginia faced throughout her tragically short life. 

It is too easy to think we know her story given the high profile media coverage of her life - this books showed me that I only knew a fraction of the horror and the courage of her story. 

https://shorturl.at/E1IKl

Featured blog post

It is a year since my dad died.

Around his anniversary, I found myself returning to the eulogy I gave for him at his funeral, reading it again, and reflecting on his life and death.

Mon, Dec 23

Eulogy for my dad

I delivered the eulogy at my dad’s funeral today. I have included the text below.

 Read More 
 

Booking a session or getting in touch to find out more about me and my work

I offer day time sessions face-to-face, online or by phone. Sessions run for around 50 minutes and cost £55. I offer discounted rates of £40 per session for students.

I do not offer evening or weekend sessions. 

I offer a free initial consultation session to talk through my approach, answer any questions and help clients to consider if they think we can work well together before we get started. 

To get in touch, please call, message or email me:

07779 796 815

benjones@amjcounselling.com

 

Please click on the links below to read editions
of the AMJ Counselling newsletter

Edition #1 - 10 November 2024

Edition #2 - 27 November 2024

Edition #3 - 1 January 2025

Edition #4 - 31 January 2025

Edition #5 - 12 March 2025

Edition #6 - 6 April 2025

Edition #7 - 20 May 2025


Edition #8 - 28 June 2025

Edition #9 - 31 August 2025

Edition #10 - 21 October 2025

 
AMJ Counselling

AMJ Counselling, Southport, Merseyside, UK

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